As I sit with a fag I see myself go through my life, all events flash in front of me like pieces of glass strewn all over the place when a bottle is shot through. Scenes of other friends enjoying while I was out of the picture. Scenes of me backstabbing people and an overall feeling of jealousy and loneliness. a feeling so dark and deep that you cannot do anything about it but stare in blank space and watch the movie god has made for you and enjoy the bits and pieces of good events that he cares enough to show you. The hope of getting good memories instead of the nasty ones is worse than the bad memories because it ends with despair and leads to suicidal tendencies.
My life is at a crossroads. A place I have never been before. I am losing my relations which oh so trusted and forming new nascent relations which I cannot trust. Why does this have to happen after all?